Include Your Groom!

Photo: A Fist Full of Bolts

Photo: A Fist Full of Bolts

From Angie…

There are multiple ways to make wedding planning as stress-free as possible, and having a supportive group of people is essential for every bride.  There is, however, one specific person who is not only very important to the process, but can also be a major source of support: the groom.


It is not a secret that brides tend to be more involved in the wedding planning process than the groom.  Some of it is just because as women we care more about color schemes, table runners, plate chargers, and all those tiny, but important, details!  But, involving the person you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with will make your wedding day much more special.  You’ll learn more about each other, and it will be much more enjoyable and stress-free for everyone. Here are 7 tips to involve the groom in the wedding planning.


  1. Identify each other’s strengths and preferences. Maybe you have an eye for decoration and your groom loves music; or you are organized and he is a foodie; or you love photography and he is good with numbers. Pinpointing the skills each of you possess will allow you to determine what your groom can manage.  If he loves music, let him be in charge of the DJ.  If he is a foodie, let him make the menu selections.  If he is good with numbers, he can help set the budget and keep track of it. Remember- Team work makes the dream work!


  1. Ask & listen. The best way to know how your groom wants to be involved, or if he prefers to let you take charge, is by asking him directly. You might even be surprised of what he wants to help you with.  He might know a cool photographer he would like to check out!  Listen carefully to what he says and what he feels comfortable with.  You’ll find that this way, he will be more eager to be involved and it’ll be easier for you to delegate tasks.


  1. Set “wedding update” meetings. You don’t want to drive your groom (or yourself) crazy with all of the wedding talk.  Setting specific times to discuss wedding details will give you both time to share what you’ve researched, found, and decided.  You’ll make sure you have his undivided attention and you’ll keep each other up to date with the planning.


  1. One word: registry. If there is one moment in wedding planning when bride AND groom must come together, is when doing the wedding registry.  You’ll be selecting china, flatware, glassware, kitchenware, bedspreads, electronics, and maybe even board games!  It is important for both parties to be involved in the process, because you’ll be able to envision what your home will look like.  If you already live together, you can pick new gadgets!


  1. Write your own vows. It is very common for couples to write their own vows, but it definitely depends on your preferences.  Personally, I would like me and my fiancée to write our vows, but when I asked him what he thought, he said he didn’t really want to because he would start crying in front of everyone and wouldn’t be able to get a word out.  At least he has a valid (and adorably sweet) reason.  However, if you and you’re groom are up for it, writing your vows will bring out the romantic side in both of you.  It will make your ceremony much more personal and emotional.  You might be marrying a poet in disguise!


  1. Trust your groom. Whether you are stressed, fighting with your mom, have questions for your vendors, and anything in between, you can trust your groom to be a source of comfort.  Knowing his thoughts on seat covers is important, but trusting him to be a buffer will save you lots of headaches, as well as allowing him to take the lead in situations where you’re feeling overwhelmed.  As a couple, you are there to support, trust, and care for each other.


  1. Communicate effectively. This is probably the most important tip in this list because it applies to everything, wedding related and not.  When you communicate with your groom, you’ll find out what is important for him, what expectations he has, what his preferences are, and what he is comfortable with.  The best part?  He will learn all that about you too!  Maybe you’ll learn that he would prefer a band to a DJ or that he’ll be on board with taking dance lessons.  You’ll get to know each other a lot better, and your relationship will grow stronger every day.